Sunday, January 20, 2008

Church Lady vs. Evil Editor

If you put Evil Editor in a ring with Church Lady, who would win? Would Evil Editor woo Church Lady into a life of debauchery? Or would Church Lady convince Evil Editor that a vow of chastity is in fact something he's always been meaning to embrace?

We'll all get a chance to find out on January 24, 2008!


In corner number one - Weighing in at a svelte 120 pounds - Sporting sensible shoes and her Sunday best -


  • The Picture of Piety
  • Beauty with Beattitude
  • Maven of Morals
  • Creator of Tator Tot Casserole
  • and Inventor of Support Hose........CHURCH LADY!
In corner number two - Weighing in at a pompous 45 pounds - Wearing wing tips and the blood sweat and tears of his minions -

  • King of the Underworld
  • Slasher of Sentences
  • Dasher of Dreams
  • That jerk who eats the last slice of pizza
  • and Inventor of the RED PEN.......EVIL EDITOR!
The main event will be held at Church Lady's rectory. Rosaries are required. http://www.abenchpress.blogspot.com/

To find out more about the contender - Evil Editor ((EE to his evil minions)) check out this hellish site:
http://www.evileditor.net/

What his devilish site will not tell you is - HIS REAL IDENTITY! I recently went on an investigative journey that lasted approximately 10 minutes. That's all it took before I was able to put two and two together. It was so obvious!

And so the story goes. It was a dark and stormy night. The words haunted him then and continue to do so to this day. After years and years of submitting his untitled 250,000 word novel without any offers of publication, he decided to throw his old life away, and start anew.

His life pretty much sucked anyway. He always felt as though he was in the dog house. The people in his immediate circle were losers who couldn't kick a football much less see his obvious potential.

Evil Editor is of course:


Snoopy

10 comments:

PJD said...

Lovely summary. Almost makes me want to throw up. Show up! I meant to say show up! Really I did.

I didn't know there'd be a cage match. Will there be jell-o?

Chris Eldin said...

You are too kind.
I am a svelt potato. I mash my opponents.

Very funny story!!! Love snoopy!
Thanks for posting!!
:-)

Mary Cunningham said...

Ooooh, it's Ali-Liston! Feb. 15, 1964. EE won't even get up off his chair!

Anonymous said...

My money is with Church Lady. Inventing tater tot casserole is far more diabolically cruel and destructive to the universe than eating the last slice of pizza.

That one isn't even close.

Robin S. said...

Oooh- a jello cage match. How...messy. Maybe EE could wear those little pants in December's second (and very hot) photo.

But, if he's Snoopy, well, CL, you'll have to be kind, sweetie.

The jerk who eats the last slice of pizza vs. the sensible shoes chick. Hmmmm. This really could get messy.

Word said...

There will be jell-o. Lime jell-o with sliced fruit and mini marshmellows. ;-)

Anonymous said...

My worst fear realized - death by bad 70s food. If the tater tot casserole doesn't kill you, the Jello Salad From Hell certainly will.

The Church Lady gets more frightening with each passing minute.

Anonymous said...

What I don't understand is how the Evil Editor found his way into my computer. Everytime I want to write something, Evil Editor shows up and starts underlining my sentences with green and red squiggly lines.

I bet I know what happens. The Evil Editor summons his evil-doer (a.k.a. Woodstock) to fly into my computer through my modem, nests itself in my hard drive and awakens whenever I open MS Word. From there, EE can wreak havoc on my wonderful creations.

My only help comes when I shine a super-human flashlight in the night sky with a rosary insignia burnt into its shadow. And when she arrives, I tighten my lips together like Mom when she does her "look" and say "Well isn't that special."

Anonymous said...

Awww. Look at that cute little guy. He's even got his own little typewriter. :)

Word said...

EE is a force to be reckoned with. Like "reckoned". I don't think I spelled that right. Looks off. I'm waiting for the red line as we speak.