The Man Crush
There is a new phenomenon sweeping the nation, ladies. One that must be controlled and directed, lest it get out of control. This phenomenon is, of course, THE MAN CRUSH. Many of you will nod your heads knowingly, as your significant other has experienced said crush. For those of you that are scratching your heads, I will define.
THE MAN CRUSH: n. An intense infatuation usually exhibited by a man reaching the "Yeah, I know, I’m workin’ on it," age. The object of infatuation is generally red, made of metal and has lots of nifty buttons, at least two wheels, and is capable of making lots of noise. Symptoms include but are not limited to:
1. A sudden drop of checking account assets or....
2. A sudden increase in credit card debt or....
3. A sudden urge to imitate the object’s language. i.e "Vrrrroooooooooommmm chugga chugga vrooooom chugga chugga"
4. Personification of inanimate object. i.e. "Be right in hun, just gotta give Milly her rub down."
Word’s house was recently visited by THE MAN CRUSH. Now, I’ll admit, I wondered how I would ever be able to compete. I mean come on, she was everything my husband ever dreamed of -bright red, sleek, powerful, and loud. She even had a name. Mildred. And she could blow with gusto...snow that is. Mildred is his brand spankin’ new Toro snow-blower.
But yanno, THE MAN CRUSH, turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. My driveway is clear. My sidewalks are clear. Our backs and shoulders don’t ache. My husband is smiling again. The other morning, he even cheffed up a breakfast normally reserved for Mother’s Day - after he had his testosterone fix ridding driveway of the 6 inch accumulation.
He loves Mildred. I kinda like her too. ;-)
10 comments:
I wish I had a snow blower in the days I lived in the snow. Nothing like waking up at dawn to a blanket of white only to be followed by intense labor. Fortunately, I had a good dad who did most of the clearing and then I was out of there at 18 and into the sunny life from there on.
My man doesn't have a crush on metal. He's more of a book guy. He can dump assets into Amazon pretty darn quick. I have a crush on Mercedes but she doesn't go for po' girls like me. :-)
Have fun in the snow! Throw one for me. :-)
Bookchyck's dear husband (to be referred to as the DH) has been faithfully shoveling the snow, and has not yet developed the Man Crush on a snowblower. I say "yet" because the other day, our magnificent neighbors (to be referred to as MNs) used their brand-spankin' new snow blower to clear the neighborhood sidewalk AND several driveway, including ours, while we were at work. I am debating between a plate of cookies or some banana bread as a thank you to the MNs.
At any rate, the DH may be feeling obligated to return the favor at some point, which simply cannot be done with shovels. If Man Crush will not get a snowblower in our garage, perhaps Man Competition will?
Hi Writerkat!
Amazon is indeed a wicked mistress! Hopefully when you reach your "published in children's lit" goal - she will become a good friend of yours!
She may even help pay for Mercedes!
Growing up, we did not have a snowblower either...not officially anyway.
My dad did go "foursies" on one with our neighbors. But back then, they wouldn't pull it out for anything under 5 inches.
Thanks for stopping in writerkat and please send some of that warm sunshine my way!
Hey Bookchyck,
Your DH sounds very dear indeed. As well as your MN's. Cookies are always good - or maybe even some lovely flavored CAWFEE beans?
Me thinks Man Competition would do well to tie a red bow around one for Christmas morning.
I was just in Sears today. A nice medium sized one will go about 5 to 6 hundred smackers.
Well, I'll sign off dreaming of sunshine and beaches and iced coffee.
Word
Man Crush vs Man Competition. Which would win? Both powerful forces. Women are so much more peaceful aren't we? ;-)
hahaha!
I thought this was going to be a sports car. Close enough.
:-)
We don't have a snowblower. The lady across the street does, and she offers every time there's a big snowstorm to help with our driveway. She is the 'mayor' of our street, and will be the one person I will mourn once we move.
Buying a snowblower will be sad, for us...
Church -
Hey girl. Enjoying my Sunday morning coffee...mmmmm.
Sports car - yeah - man crush favors the mustang variety.
Blech - me - I have a serious woman crush on a cherry red convertable toyota solara with the license plate FISHBOWL.
It sounds like you have some pretty special neighbors - no doubt because you are pretty special too!
I'm sending good wishes on the upcoming move! I know how stressful it can be, but I have a feeling this will be a wonderful home for you.
Writerkat -
I think Man Competition wins hands down every time!!
I do believe that you have left out a definition of Man Crush. Here it is: The idea of a man having an actual crush on another man without being gay.
For example, George Castanza's relationship with one of Elaine's boyfriends. George was totally enamored with him. George and Kramer went rock climbing with him and the dude fell down and totaled his faced. So Elaine had to break up with him.
Most men is Wisconsin have a man crush on Brett Favre.
AB35AB -
Yes - you are correct on that point - the man crush does also include a male being in love with another male in a completely non sexual way. Men, being what they are, often become confused when coming into contact with really cool stuff like Brett Favre, Fast Cars, Loud Things, Metal Things, Things with Wheels that go Vroom, Things that go Bang Bang, etc - which is why the Man Crush has been expanded to include EVERYTHING.
Now - I must say - you are only half right on the "Most men in Wisconsin have a man crush on Brett Favre". Most of the woman I know think highly of him as well. Like my neighbor. She touched his baseball cap. I heard her retell the story while she was completely messed up on Capt Morgan and Cokes. It took her an hour to tell the story of how she actually came within arms reach of the guy and touched his hat. I think she said, "I love that man" like 1000 or so times....in front of her husband....she was really drunk. She also loves Kenny Chesney. She'd leave her husband for him. She said that about 1000 times too....in front of her husband....did I mention that she was drunk?
Way too funny. As a man, wishing I had a snowblower, I can relate. ; ) Plus, on the Brett Favre topic, my wife doesn't have to be drunk to tell me she loves Jude Law!
Hmmm, snow blower....
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